I probably have more trouble with these things than I should, but less than implied here. Sometimes, though, I can’t help but feel like it would actually be faster to write a check than proceed through a series of questions that are probably designed with care to be some sort of legal signature-proxy.

I think it would help if the system was a little more standardized: some places you gotta jump back and forth between those yes and no buttons, while other times you’re just punching one or the other like you’re operating a telegraph. Meanwhile, the line of folks behind you is accumulating, and one wrong move could void the whole transaction!

But, perhaps the system as it is fine, and I can think of worse things. After all, my main frustration is that I feel like I’m holding up the show for everyone in line behind me– I can’t argue with the fact that it’s nice and convenient to, you know, have access to food.

Still, one wonders what the future of the checkstand may be like… perhaps in the vaguely dystopian future, ubiquitous monitoring will pre-evaluate our credit as we walk in a door, and a deduction of Futurebucks™ will be made as we exit the store with a cart full of merchandise. Heck, maybe the system will pre-deduct everything before we even head to the store, because our carefully monitored consumption patterns will indicate that there is a 99% chance you need more salsa today, and based on the barometric pressure and tested efficacy of shelf placement, you will buy jelly beans. It’ll be like some sort of predictive economic Calvinism.

In fact, maybe the store as a destination will be cut out entirely– things will just show up at our door and we’ll be charged for them. Sometimes we’ll be excited, but other times, we’ll just be all like “why do I have a weekly subscription to egg nog?” But maybe we won’t even notice, because instead of having an economy, AN ECONOMY WILL HAVE US. So… yeah, another weird walk-in-the-woods post.

Anyway, it’s midnight, and sometimes it’s just easier to carry cash.