I’ve never actually taught Sunday school, so that part is very, very fictional. If I ever had (or do), I’m sure my curriculum would be really, really weird. We’d probably make slings and pitch stones at a Goliath effigy (helmets & safety glasses!), and learn about just how big a cubit is anyway. I would teach them that just as no one seemed to take heed of Noah in antiquity, folks seem pretty dead set on mocking and disregarding NOAA’s dire warnings these days too. Perhaps we could sample a diet of locusts and honey, and find out just what the heck the big deal with myrrh was anyway. I’d probably cultivate an appreciation among them for Father Ted, and the Divine Comedy. Ultimately I would probably be told that I was taking the whole thing too seriously and not seriously enough at the same time.
Also, I’ve discovered that I’m not as not-qualified to be the Pope as I had thought. Evidently a “baptized man in good standing could be elected pope” (via Dan Merica at CNN), so I’m not out of the running yet, I suppose. Should I be elected to the office, I’ll might go with the “Pope Lando II”. I’m not sure how the first Pope Lando worked out, but most folks favorably think of a more contemporary Lando. Yeah, gold cape and everything. Now that I think about it, he became the leader of a city-state through unorthodox means, so maybe it wouldn’t be a bad “nom de pope” for me if an unlikely series of events were elevate an obscure, thirty-year-old non-bishop artist to the office.