Hot pizza: so tempting, yet so dangerous. There doesn’t seem to be any way of avoiding the hazards, though, since by waiting one risks the dreaded not-quite-hot-enough pizza. It’s a little like coffee in that regard: great hot (but not too hot to consume), with diminishing satisfaction as it cools, but getting back to satisfying territory once it hits a refrigerated state. Have you ever had refrigerator pizza? Perhaps it’s bachelor chow that only gets eaten by folks with low standards… like college students, for whom the microwave seems like just too much work. But can you blame them? Microwaved pizza just doesn’t work quite right. There’s something kind of weird and squishy and moist about it, but in all the wrong ways. Just eating it cold often seems like the better alternative.

But hot, though, that’s where it really shines! And where it horrifically burns your mouth. Physics is responsible for that somehow, right? Something having to do with the characteristics of the cheese retaining heat and continuing to cook the pizza even when removed from the oven? I suppose I could research it more thoroughly, but I’ve got stuff to do! In the meantime, we can all agree that molecules are responsible.

Oh, it occurs to me that there is one reliable way to avoid mouth burns when eating hot pizza: using a fork and/or knife. But will I remember that the next time I stare down a fresh pizza?